woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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