why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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