I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
