I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
