i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and i looked up. we had an audience...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
