therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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