remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
