So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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