She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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