how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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