direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
