So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dicks are not precious.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
