PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
