So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
