im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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