So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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