do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
