In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
