And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
