We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
