You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
