stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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