You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
