Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
