She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
