i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
