I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
