never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
