a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
