im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I would fuck him just for his dog
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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