You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
