he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
