Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
