I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I didn't notice because vodka
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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