so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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