I'm really into asian looking animals
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
