We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
