morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
