Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
