Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
