when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
