Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
