I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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