I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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