Don't you send me to vm
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My breasts were aching with rage.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
