i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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