What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
