So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
