she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
