my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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